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by Andrea Albanese

REMEMBER WHEN...?

 

I don’t know about you, but I’m getting a little tired of all these cutesy emails and magazine articles that begin with, “Remember when…?” There follows a list of 1950’s TV shows, toys, bubble gum cards, etc. There might even be some classic ‘50s music in the background. Wipe the goofy, nostalgic smile off your face. Those things are now considered “collectibles” because we’re so old! Right now I’m more nostalgic for size 10. I still feel the shock of the last time I tried on a dress; it looked a little too puffy in the front, so I pulled it back and found that it wasn’t the dress! I’ve compiled my own list of things for which people of my generation are nostalgic. Remember when:

  1. your hair was the same color after five shampoos (for men, your hair was)

  2. AARP was the sound made by Little Orphan Annie’s dog

  3. being a senior meant you would soon have to get a job instead of leave one

  4. you didn’t trust anyone over 30 (or at least pretended not to)

  5. something being “out of sight” didn’t mean you needed to reach for your glasses

  6. going through your change meant you were looking for bus fare

  7. you had no idea how many grams of fat were in a donut (or anything else)

  8. music was never too loud

  9. an insurance plan was a backup activity for Saturday night

  10. the Battle of the Bulge was a history lesson

  11. your “numbers” were your SAT scores

  12. your yearbook photo did not render teenagers senseless with laughter

  13. teenager’s clothes did not render you senseless with laughter

  14. pot had nothing to do with your belly (no, I did not use it)

  15. teenager language was comprehensible

This stroll down Memory Lane is heavy. It’s bringing me down, man. What a bummer! However, I just found a great quote from the actor Lee Marvin which makes me feel a little better. He said, “One of the good things about getting older is you find you’re more interesting than most of the people you meet.” Far out!


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