Kosher Computer

I don't know if you know this, but you can now purchase Kosher computers! They are made in Israel by a company called DELL-SHALOM. The price is so low, even with the shipping from Israel!

However, before you purchase a kosher computer of your own, you should know that there are some important changes from the typical non-kosher computer you are used to, such as:

• The "Start" button has been replaced with the "Let's go!! I'm not getting any younger!" button



• You hear "Hava Nagila" during startup
  
  
• The cursor moves from right to left.
  
  
• When Spell-checker finds an error it prompts, "Is this the best you can do?"
  
  
• When you look at erotic images, your computer says, "If your mother knew you did this, she would die."
  
  
• It comes with a "monitor cleaning solution" from Manischewitz that advertises it gets rid of all the "schmutz und drek."
  
  
• When running "Scan Disk" it prompts you with a "You want I should fix this?" message.
  
  
• After 20 minutes of no activity, your PC goes "Schloffen."
  
  
• The PC shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.
  
  
• It comes with two hard drives - one for fleyshedik (business software) and one for milchedik (games).
  
  
• Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, your PC now gets "Ferklempt."
  
  
• The multimedia player has been renamed to "Nu, so play my music already!" corner.
  
  
• When your PC is working too hard, you occasionally hear a loud "Oy Gevalt!"
  
  
• Computer viruses can now be cured with matzo ball soup.
  
  
• When disconnecting external devices from the back of my PC, you are instructed to "Remove the cable from the PC's tuchus."
  
  
• After your computer dies, you have to dispose of it within 24 hours.
  
  
• But best of all, if you have a kosher computer, you can't get SPAM