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submitted by Barbara Vitale

Senior Dress Code

Any of us over 50, or on the way to 50, are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We're unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current fashions. Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

  1. A nose ring and bifocals
  2. Spiked hair and bald spots
  3. A pierced tongue and dentures
  4. Miniskirts and support hose
  5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
  6. Speedos and cellulite
  7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
  8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
  9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
  10. Pierced nipples that hang below the waist
  11. Bikinis and liver spots
  12. Short shorts and varicose veins
  13. Inline skates and a walker

  14. And the ultimate "Bad Taste" in fashion for the "Older Folks":
  15. Thongs and Depends
Please keep these basic guidelines foremost in your mind when you shop. Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here, we might as well dance.

Website by Paul Lifschin